


Irreplaceable, Unforgettable

by killerxcanaries



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex watches Ruby, Angst with a Happy Ending, Endgame Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Eventual Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, F/F, Fluff, Kara Danvers & Maggie Sawyer Friendship, Kara Danvers Ships Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Light Angst, Maggie Sawyer & Winn Schott Jr. Friendship, POV Maggie Sawyer, Sanvers - Freeform, Space Dad Hank Henshaw | J'onn J'onzz, Surprise Party, The DEO | Department of Extra-Normal Operations, Winn Schott Jr. Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 15:33:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14980175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerxcanaries/pseuds/killerxcanaries
Summary: When Maggie was sent to walk out of Alex's life, their lives were torn apart beyond repair. As Alex's birthday approaches, Maggie isn't sure whether to confront her ex-fiancée's sister to ask to help with preparations, or if she should just stick with sending Alex a birthday card instead. In the end, she'd be a fool if she regretted her decision. (Set after 3x20, but doesn't really spoil anything from the episode)





	Irreplaceable, Unforgettable

She had been hesitant for a while. While she loved them all and had been good friends with each one of them, they were still connected in some way or another to the one that she couldn't go near. So what did she do? Stayed as far away from the gut-wrenching memories as she possibly could.

 

Which was hard, of course, since she still lived in the same town as the people she was forced to avoid.

 

Maggie sighed, running a shaking hand through her hair. For almost a year now Maggie has been planning to have a party for Alex's birthday, but now that they weren't together what should she do? They had went from being happily engaged to Alex breaking up with Maggie over her want for kids in a matter of weeks.

 

But it didn't mean that Maggie didn't still think of Alex and the "superfriends" every second of every day. Okay, maybe she thought of Alex more than her old friends, but could you really blame her? She was still hopelessly in love with Alex, how was she just supposed to forget about her?

 

So did she talk to her old friends and help throw a party for her ex-fiancé? Or did she just ignore the fact that her birthday was coming up in a little over a month? If she ignored it, would she still send a card? Or would Alex be heartbroken to receive a card from someone she had most likely gotten over a long time ago?

 

No, Maggie had to suck it up and go talk to Kara.

 

No matter how completely terrified it made her feel.

 

Ever since she and Alex had separated Maggie was a different person entirely, and she was less of the tough and confident person she used to be and was more nervous to do anything she did.

 

And talking to her old best friends, who were either related to Alex or were good friends with her? Yeah, even the mere thought of doing that made her feel sick to her stomach to think that at any point they could either get mad at her, or she could bump into Alex at some point.

 

She missed Kara. Even though she started off on a hard foot with her, the two had grown to love each other in a sisterly way. And Maggie had never had a sister, but having Kara was amazing for once in her life.

 

She missed J'onn, whom she and Alex had began to call "Space Dad". He was like a father to both girls, and he was supportive of Maggie being gay, which was so different from how her own father was. She loved him, loved his hugs, and missed having someone like him to look up to, as she never looked up to her father as she was growing up since she was kicked out of her own house at fourteen.

 

She missed Winn. God, she missed him and his constant nerd talk. Beneath their fake bantering and Maggie constantly intimidating Winn, they were good friends, and she loved spending time with him.

 

And most of all? She missed Alex. She loved her, yes, but most of all? She missed her. She missed her lips when she would press them against Maggie's. She missed her hugs when they would get home from work each day, thankful the other was still alive with their daring jobs. She missed their competitions, when they would compliment each other to see who could blush first and the most. And she missed their friendship. Even if they weren't together anymore in the way they had been, Maggie wished they were still able to be friends. Because even if she wasn't able to kiss Alex anymore, she wished she could still hug her and be friends with her, because a life away from Alex Danvers was complete hell.

 

So Maggie would have to suck it up and talk to Kara, and just hope that Little Danvers wouldn't blow up in Maggie's face for thinking it was her fault for breaking Alex's heart. Because while it was Maggie that didn't want kids, it was still Alex who had broken it off with Maggie, leaving the latter completely heartbroken.

 

She had reasons why she didn't want kids, but couldn't lay her walls down for long enough to tell Alex why. Maybe then would they have still been together in the end, planning their wedding together happily, and maybe even getting kids down the line.

 

Maggie got on her motorcycle and slowly drove to the DEO, driving as slowly as she could without ensuring she’d get arrested for it. Pulling up at the back, she didn't see Alex's motorcycle anywhere, which she was both grateful and a little disappointed about. But she wasn't there for Alex, she was there for Kara.

 

Fixing her leather jacket and smoothing down her jeans, Maggie took a shaking breath, letting it out slowly. Her hands shook, so she placed them in the pockets of her jacket, trying to not look as nervous as she felt right now.

 

With a few more breaths Maggie proceeded to walk towards the door, knowing that if she gave herself the possibility to leave she would.

 

You can do this, all you have to do is talk to her sister.

 

You can do this, Maggie.

 

Maggie took one more deep breath before slowly walking into the DEO, a dozen heads turning towards her at once. Thankfully Alex's wasn't one of them, but the first one she saw was Kara's, who's eyes went wide. Maggie could almost swear she could see tears in Kara's eyes from even where she was standing.

 

"Maggie," she saw the Kryptonian whisper. Maggie looked down, before she heard steps, looking up slowly to see Kara running towards her. She tensed, expecting Kara to yell at her.

 

Kara wrapped her arms around Maggie's neck, leaning her forehead on Maggie's shoulder.

 

"I've missed you so much."

 

"I've missed you too, Little Danvers," Maggie whispered, trying to ignore the fact that everyone's eyes were still on them.

 

Winn slowly walked toward the two, to which Maggie smiled softly.

 

"Hey," she said to him, once Kara reluctantly pulled away, engulfing him in a hug.

 

"Hey yourself. How've you been, Sawyer?"

 

"Could've been better. It's good to see you both again, though."

 

"Wait!," Kara said all of a sudden, eyes going wide and a large smile forming on her face. "Does Alex know you're here?! Are you two getting back together again?!"

 

Maggie's smile disappeared, looking down and shaking her head.

 

"N-no, I-I haven't really talked to Alex since....since that day."

 

A small frown formed on Kara's face.

 

"You haven't even talked since then?"

 

Maggie shook her head.

 

"I was under the impression that she didn't want to talk to me since it was her who broke it off. The only time we talked was when I texted her asking for my passport that I had forgotten there, where she just mailed it to me instead of meeting me in person. I-I don't think she really wants to see me."

 

Kara dejectedly looked down. Maggie hated seeing the usually-happy-looking blonde looking so upset, and wished there was something she could do about it.

 

"Is everything okay? I mean, since you're not here to see Alex and we haven't seen you in so long, is something wrong?"

 

"Oh, n-no, nothing's wrong...I..."

 

Maggie sighed, looking away before turning back to Kara.

 

"Is there any way that I could still help with Alex's surprise party? I’d understand completely if you didn’t want my help.”

 

Kara smiled softly.

 

"Of course you can, Maggie. We'd love for you to help us."

 

Maggie smiled softly.

 

"Thanks, Little Danvers," she said with a hug.

 

Maggie turned upon hearing a laugh.

 

"Sawyer, I thought I heard your voice!"

 

Maggie laughed as she saw a smiling J'onn walk towards her.

 

"Hey!"

 

J'onn engulfed Maggie in a tight hug.

 

"It's been too long, Maggie. How are you?"

 

"I-I'm okay...I guess."

 

"I'm sorry about everything that happened between you and Agent Danvers, you two made a good couple."

 

"Thanks, J'onn," Maggie whispered, looking down.

 

He placed a hand on her shoulder, to which Maggie slowly nodded twice.

 

Alex had thought she heard her voice. She thought she heard them say her name, but she had also been thinking that for a while now. It couldn't be her...could it?

 

"I-I'll be right back, Ruby," she said, barely paying attention when the young girl nodded softly, continuing to read her book.

 

Alex stood up from her chair upstairs and slowly walked towards the railing outside, both wanting and not wanting to see if her ears were deceiving her.

 

Upon getting to the railing Alex looked down only to be met with her sister, Winn, J'onn, and Maggie standing there.

 

It really was her.

 

She was really standing there in the DEO after not talking to any of them for months.

 

Alex was stunned, not knowing what to do. Did she want to see Alex? If none of them had come to tell her Maggie was there that had to mean she was trying to avoid Alex.

 

But even that didn't stop the tears from coming to her eyes.

 

Maggie turned to walk out, stopping dead in her tracks upon seeing Alex standing there, letting out a breath as tears came to her eyes as well.

 

"Alex," Maggie said softly, smiling a little.

 

Alex slowly and shakily descended down the stairs, standing a few feet away from Maggie.

 

"Maggie," Alex smiled. "What are you doing here?"

 

Maggie shrugged, placing her shaking hands back in her pockets.

 

"I just wanted to say hello to everyone since I haven't seen you all in what feels like so long," Maggie said, laughing nervously at the end. She looked down, her laugh dying out to nothing, kind of like what their relationship did in the end.

 

"How have you been, Mags?"

 

Maggie nodded slowly, looking up to be met with Alex's judging eyes.

 

“I’ve been pretty good.”

 

Alex tilted her head to the side slightly, pursing her lips.

 

"Not even together anymore and you can still tell when I'm lying, huh? I've been better, Danvers, how have you been?"

 

Alex shrugged.

 

"I've been okay."

 

Maggie turned to smile softly at Kara, J'onn, and Winn before turning back around.

 

"Well, I should get going, I'll see you all soon, alright?"

 

Kara threw her arms around Maggie, shutting her eyes tightly. She had missed the girl, and had only seen her for a few minutes before Maggie would get back on her motorcycle and leave again.

 

"I'll miss you, Maggie."

 

"I'll miss you too, Little Danvers, but we'll still talk, right? You still have my number, you can text or call at any time."

 

Kara nodded, smiling softly. "Definitely."

 

After hugging J'onn and Winn, Maggie turned back around to find a stunned Alex standing there, looking down at her feet.

 

"See you around, Danvers."

 

Memories began to flash back instantly, leaving Alex frozen in place. The first time, along with the many other times Maggie has said those four words, ending off with the time when she walked out Alex's door, only to never come back again, clouded her brain. Those memories, along with others, brought tears to Alex's eyes.

 

Maggie made her happy. Alex hadn't been truly happy in the longest time, but Maggie was able to change that. Maggie, when she brought over pizza and first kissed Alex. Maggie, when she held Alex while she cried after trying, and failing, to drink her thoughts away. Maggie, while she threw away her old memories of the Valentine's Day that ruined her childhood to make Alex's Valentine's Day special. Maggie, when Alex proposed to her at the DEO in a "spur-of-the-moment" decision that she knew she would never regret.

 

Maggie, when Alex had to break off the engagement because they didn't agree on wanting kids. Maggie, when Alex had to hug her for the last time. Maggie, when she walked out of the door of their apartment, saying "See you around, Danvers," one last time while they were still together.

 

And Maggie, who Alex was still hopelessly in love with, even after they have been apart for months.

 

Maggie began to walk away and was almost at the stairs when Alex snapped into action.

 

"Maggie, wait," she called out breathlessly, too high on adrenaline at that moment to think clearly, as memories clouded her brain and took away her senses of right and wrong.

 

Would she regret this in the end? Probably.

 

Would she do this if she had been thinking straight? No, probably not.

 

But for the third major time in Alexandra Danvers' life (with the first being the time she drank way too much and ended up in a jail cell until J'onn bailed her out, and the second being the time she risked her entire friendship with Maggie to kiss her), she thought to herself, fuck it.

 

As Maggie stopped and turned around, Alex walked over and grabbed Maggie's arm, leaning in to press her lips against Maggie's, relishing in the way Maggie gasped at the contact but didn't move away.

 

Alex moved her hand down to grasp Maggie's in her own, intertwining their fingers together as she wrapped her other arm around Maggie's neck, underneath of her silk brown hair. The hair that Alex could tell Maggie had been running her hands through before she came here, as it was messed up slightly in spots and didn’t have it's normal “perfect waviness” to it. The hair that Alex had gripped tightly as she cried out in pleasure one last time while they were together, back on that day that their lives fell apart completely.

 

Maggie placed one hand on the small of Alex's back, bringing her closer to Maggie's body, and the other found its way up to cup Alex's cheek.

 

The two pulled apart reluctantly, tears in both girls' eyes.

 

"I love you Maggie Sawyer, I always have and I always will."

 

"But Al, what about the kids?"

 

Alex shrugged, laughing a little.

 

"I-I don't know, Mags. To be honest, I have no fucking clue what I'm even doing right now. I had been so messed up after you left and I've finally gotten a hold on my life, but now you come back and...a-and now what?"

 

Alex ran a hand through her short hair, shaking her head.

 

"I want kids, Maggie. You don't. All my life I've had to give things up. I love Kara, and she's the best sister anyone could ever ask for, but her coming to live with us changed my life. I've had to give up being the only child, give up having many friends when a lot of them left me, give up a career as a scientist, give up being happy. I haven't been happy in a long time, and Kara and all of my friends here have changed my life and made me happier, but I was the happiest I've ever been when I was with you, Maggie. And while I really don't want to give up being a Mom, I also can't just give up on loving you."

 

"Alex, I'm not going to be the reason you don't have kids."

 

"Maggie, I'm gay. Wow, that's the first time I've actually said those words out loud," she laughed, to which Maggie laughed as well.

 

"Unless one of us carried the baby and we had a donor, we'd have to adopt a kid. Either way, we'd have to take care of this kid until they were at least eighteen years old. I'm almost never home. You're almost never home."

 

Alex sighed.

 

"Earlier today I jumped across a building and could have fallen to my death if I had been even an inch off. I'm never going to change, I'm always going to be the type of person that runs straight into danger in order to save lives. But at the same time, I still want to be a mom. I'm not so sure the two can coexist, and I'm not even sure I'd really want that. For us, for our child. I can't be a mother if there's always the possibility of me dying in the field, which would leave the baby with one less parent. That wouldn't be fair to who I'm with, or to the baby.

 

"But I love my job, and I love working with everyone here, and I can't just give up the life that I've worked so hard to get to be a mother. I can't, and I won't.

 

"So maybe I won't be a mother, and maybe I won't be able to watch my kid as they grow older. But that doesn't mean I won't be happy, and that doesn't mean I have to give up on my life.

 

"I'll still have my job, and I'll still have my friends, and I'll still have my family, and I'll still have everything else that I've ever wanted. And I'll even still have the love of my life, if she'd take me back?"

 

Tears streamed down Alex and Maggie's faces, along with Kara's face, who was smiling softly at the two.

 

Kara knew how badly Alex wanted kids, and she knew how much she loved her job. But while she had been the one to pick Alex back up after she had fallen apart after breaking the engagement off with Maggie, she knew deep down that her sister still had feelings for the detective, no matter how hard she tried to deny them.

 

As long as Alex wasn't going to regret not having kids down the line, she was happy for her sister. And who knows, maybe if Kara eventually found the right person she could have a kid someday, and while she was working Alex could watch them for her.

 

But for now? As long as Alex was happy, Kara would be happy for her.

 

And she knew how much happier Maggie had made Alex.

 

"Are you sure, Alex? I don't want you to have to give anything up to be with me, I would never force you to do something like that," Maggie said just above a whisper.

 

Alex nodded softly.

 

"I'm not giving it up for you, I'm giving it up for my job. Because I'd rather work at a secret government agency," Alex said, smiling.

 

"I love you, Alex. I really, really love you," Maggie said, laughing a little.

 

"Shut up and kiss me, Sawyer," Alex said with a laugh, pulling Maggie close to her again.

 

Maggie slammed her lips against Alex's, causing Alex to whimper lightly at how much she missed being able to kiss the detective in front of her.

 

"I love you," Alex said into the kiss with a smile.

 

"I love you too, Danvers, I love you too."

 

Alex pulled away with a start, narrowing her eyes.

 

"So...since we weren't together and now are back together again...does that mean we are technically dating again? Or do we go back to being engaged?"

 

Maggie slapped her arm lightly, laughing.

 

"Oh, Danvers, what am I going to do with you?," she asked, wrapping an arm around Alex's shoulders and pulling her into her side, Alex turning to see Kara, J'onn, and Winn smiling happily at the two.

 

"You two are still my favorite couple," Winn said, similar to the when he first said it after Alex and Maggie said they loved other over the coms, causing the three to laugh.

 

"But seriously, Mags, where does that leave us," Alex asked looking down at Maggie, who leaned up slightly and kissed Alex's nose.

 

"Let's take this slow to make sure this is exactly what you want, and if it is after a little while, then maybe we can get engaged again. But for now, would you like to go on a date with me tonight, Alex Danvers?"

 

Alex pouted, disappointed that she wasn't still engaged, but was happy nonetheless.

 

"Fine," she jokingly mumbled, causing J'onn to laugh.

 

"I'll let you leave work early today, Alex. Go, have fun with your girlfriend," he said with a smile, to which Alex and Maggie both smiled.

 

"Thanks, J'onn," Alex said, both girls coming up to hug J'onn.

 

"You better not hurt Agent Danvers, Detective Sawyer," J'onn said with a smile, to which Maggie replied "I would never," causing Alex to smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think and if you have any ideas on how to improve my writing. I'd love to hear all of your opinions, thanks! <3


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